Latvia or Bust
Carla went to hospital and had her scan, but she
had to go by herself. Peter is off the wagon and dancing alone in rough
Manchester boozers to Thin Lizzy. When Carla gets the snap of her baby in the
womb, she’s startled to see that it seems to be smoking a fag and drinking a
vodka miniature.
Elsewhere Izzy has confessed to nicking a hundred
quid from the money they raised on the fun run in Hayley’s memory. She only did
it out of desperation, hoping to pay it back fast. She gets a hard time from
the other girls in the knicker factory for going as low as it’s possible to
get. Julie has a face with a tragedy-stricken look at the best of times, but
standing there waiting with the gigantic cheque (of the type Terry Wogan always
has on Children in Need) she looked even more stricken than ever. And I must
admit, though sometimes it seems as if the actress playing Izzy seems like she’s
in another show to the rest of them (being less deliberately over-the-top) she
was acting her heart out in these scenes where she confesses and apologises. It
was actually quite touching.
Which is more than I can say for the rest of her
family. The Windasses are getting dull: we need a breath of fresh air.
I enjoyed seeing Todd getting punched in the
face by Tyrone in the Rovers. It’s spoiled by the fact that Tyrone’s just being
twisted round crazy’s Maria’s little finger. What I could do with is another slanging match out in the
street and a few more tart rejoinders from the joyous Sean.
When in doubt, Corrie storyliners – send everyone
out on the cobbles and get them shouting at each other. Get all this subterfuge
and subtext out in the open and let them have a good scrag fight. Corrie always
had a touch of pantomime about it – with verbally-quick characters slagging
each other off while everyone crowds round to watch. Those are the moments
worth waiting for. Just something to let the viewer know that the programme isn’t
taking itself far too seriously… something it’s been veering close to of late… with
all the wincing and issue-related stuff. Luckily, last night, we had Aunty Beth
preparing to jet off to Latvia, where she’s going to have her boobs enlarged.
The scenes with her lovely, caring family trying
to talk her out of it were delightful. Again, Kirk quietly nabs the week’s best
line. He describes how his bust-obsessed girlfriend did a collage to show him
how she’ll look after surgery: sticking her head onto Pamela Anderson’s body. ‘But
she got the scale all wrong and it looked like something out of ‘The Fly.’’ But
still, he stands back and lets her zoom off to catch a flight to the Baltic
States in order to satisfy her urge for transformation.
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